Neopostmodernism: Adventures Beyond Sublime Aberations of Reasonable Thought

The axiom, which one could be mistaken for thinking — possibly due to having an ineptitude at grasping at such a slippery subject — to be the ethos of Postmodernism, namely, that there is ‘No Absolute Truth’, could suffer the cogitation of The Thinker to enter into a perpetual feedback loop if they were to affirm that the noble adage is ‘Absolutely True’. Many such eggs have been been laid in the Postmodernists’ coop, yet are abandoned before incubation: whether this has been done in order to pursue a more Existentialist agenda, or to play the charades necessary for advancing in the pecking order, or both, is beyond the powers of divination of ordinary folk.

However, what is certain, is that a true Golden Egg, has been overlooked — to a large degree — in the arts, which has the potential to revolutionise how an artist is remunerated. The laws of Intellectual property have implications far beyond creative endeavours; reaching into every household without the average ‘Consumer’ being aware of their extent. For example: at present, some twenty per cent of the Human genome has been patented; Melbourne based company, Genetic Technologies, has ownership of two breast cancer genes and has issued a threat of legal action to public hospitals if they continue to run tests on them.

Some may consider this reprehensible, however what such people with minds dulled by thoughts of injustice, who’ve yet to divorce the Heart from the Mind, don’t realise, is that there’s a prodigious Pot of Gold which awaits those who are egregiously opportunistic and are prepared to barter scruples for success, much like the chairman of Hon Hai, parent company of Foxconn — the manufacturer of iPods and iPads, meeting with the director of Taipai Zoo to learn how best to “Manage Animals”, or the personnel in charge of making the working conditions of the latter company so unbearable that it was necessary to put up suicide nets around the factory — a decision put into effect after the eleventh time a person jumped to their death, along with the inclusion of various clauses in worker contracts forcing them to promise not to kill themselves — : it’s not reasonable for me to assume that if one conjectures that Steve Jobs, with all the insight, sharpening of The Mind, and disinterred Human potential gained from his practice of Soto Zen Buddhist meditation tossed aside The Buddha’s ‘Four Noble Truths’ — which place explicit emphasis on the suffering of all sentient beings trapped in Samsara, in preference to a more lobotomising philosophy of ‘Removing Excessive Thought’, coupled with the selective distribution of ‘Compassion’ directed at conferring a mighty boon onto the laps of ‘Consumers’, and cultivating a selective ignorance of the suffering of Serfs, one has illuminated truths. However, such observations may be useful in devising schemes which depend on healthy ‘Public Relations’ in an effort to maximise ‘Capital’.

The Fluxus movement — a syndicate of Postmodernist artists — burgeoned in the sixties, pioneered by George Maciunas, John Cage, and Le MonteYoung — among others, and later joined by Yoko ono, spawned innovations that are not only a fecund source of ideas for wild vacations to be had by the faculties of lofty thought, but also a Field of Golden Eggs to those learned in the arts of cunning legal sleights and legerdemains — who may or may not be well versed in laws written in squalid and unkept saloons. In the Fluxus Performance Booklet, some songs, acts, or compositions, are as follows:

First Performance: Performer enters, bows, then exits. This is executed once for every member of the audience.

Fall: Throw things that are difficult to throw because of their light weight.

Danger Music Number Nine: Volunteer to have your spine removed.

Dance Class: Learn Norwegian. Visit Italy.

It isn’t for One to say whether or no that putting a man on the Moon — which required extreme mental exertions of some of science’s brightest minds in order for the project to succeed — instead of directing attention to some of societies more pressing needs, such as poverty, hunger, and malnutrition in the Third World, was a necessary human achievement in comparison, but what could be something which may be observed that might be the substance of an idea approximating the workings of the Infinite Human Desire within the confines of Finite Resources is that ownership of something is simply a matter of affixing to it One’s brand — whether it be the flag of One’s nation, or the Jolly Roger.

Therefore it brings me great pleasure to announce my exciting adventure into new horizons; territory uncharted by my predecessors whom have laid the groundwork for copyrighting the entire farrago of possible Human Thoughts and Actions within the infinitely vast Universe. The exciting worlds of Postmodernism and Air Guitar combined, and refined, I bring to you Vacuum Guitar — A Revolution in Music: The Birth of Neopostmodernism. Some of the most important inventions of our time live their life solely in abstraction: Debt Ceilings, Credit Default Swaps, Hedge Funds, not to mention the perpetual consecutive series of ‘Global Financial Crises’: this revolution, a coup d’état of whatever vestiges of Human Sensibility — which, from time to time, that Creature has proven It is capable of — such as kitsch notions like love, nurture, kindness, social justice etc, ad infinitum, will see a complete evisceration of whatever feelings failed to be expunged by the indoctrination, which begins at a tender age — but never ends, into ‘Economics’, whereby Human interactions are reduced to ‘$ocial ©apital’ and survival is contingent on obedience as well as complicity in crime; however this does not entail a ‘Learning’ of economics. The amoral ‘Free Trade’ ideology — one euphemism among many which might aid the facilitation of enslavement — may be an important component in the rearing of fatted calves to be slaughtered; Paypal allowing payments to be made to The KKK, the existence of the Tween clothing market and the eroticisation of its respective demographic, the exploitation of factory workers in foreign countries, environmental destruction with apocalyptic consequences, rampant consumerism: One may, or may not be forgiven for thinking these are the manifestations of the laissez-faire, or ‘Let it be’ economic philosophy devoid of cumbersome regulations. My craft as a musician, in this current economic climate, reflects attitudes of buoyant enthusiasm for the epoch of ‘Growth and Prosperity’, rather than humbug moral études.

My debut performance features the composition of mine ‘From Obscurity Into Your Mind, Under Your Skin, and Into Your Pocket©’: the piece will be performed as a mental projection in which a representation of a guitar, being played by my self, at the antipodes of the universe in a void of nothingness, will be described by my Mind with the nearness which the imagination is apt to achieve; where, unlike earthy performances of profound silence, not even a single bowel movement will be permitted to utter sound to add to the performance: an Autoerotic Pantomime of Hypertrophic Eighties Cheese Guitar On Steroids in Outer Space. Every single unique configuration of molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles etched in the folds of time follows a course according to conditions and influences; it is the ownership of such configurations of matter I’ll be laying claim to with my patent on the Intellectual Property pronounced herein. As grey matter is composed of atoms, it is also of no doubt that thoughts are also etched Time’s Folds, therefore my claims are supported by evidence provided by Time Travel and X-ray photography — by means of which molecular structures an subatomic particle configurations can be precisely deconstructed. Therefore, I’m bound by the Force of The Law to bring about a litigation against those whom have violated the reproduction copyrights of my piece as was detailed in plain English in this paragraph, who have done so by reading this paragraph. As for out of court settlements, I’m not at liberty to say, or not to say, whether or no they are on, or off the table, however it must be considered that I’m to be indemnified for damages proportional to the chemical reactions within the brain which give rise to mental imagery, ideas, or conceptual quailia, as a consequence of the reader having unlawfully reproduced the piece, which has been, on the whole, without my consent.

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